I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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