Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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