He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
