her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
