At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
