"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
