did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
