So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
