like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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