The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
