god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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