i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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