Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We are two peas in an std pod
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
