so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize