Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
