just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Duck Duck Cougar?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
