You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
