Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
