tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
