how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
