we have pet lesbian snakes
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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