Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
