i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
