i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize