Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
PANTIES FOUND
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
