my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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