HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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