Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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