all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
