In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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