I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so let's talk penis.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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