I heard we made out
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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