Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
