yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
