Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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