Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize