So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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