I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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