It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
