i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
