I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
