i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
