walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
