ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
