My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
