he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
