I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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