if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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