I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
