I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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