Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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