She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
