Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
