She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
