literally had 100 drinks last night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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