Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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