i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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