I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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