Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize