She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize