You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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