I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
