Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
sex in a hospital.. check
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
