shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This house was built for laser tag.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
