i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
