next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
