I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
