I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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