Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
