anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
