I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
