We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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