So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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