I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
