Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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