I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
